Self-Loathing Senate Candidate Against Abortion Except In Case of His Parents 47 Years Ago

(MINOT, ND) Self-loathing Republican Senate candidate Eric Chapman announced yesterday that he is against abortion under all circumstances, “except in the case of Martin and Rosalie Chapman in 1968.” “Ladies and gentlemen, hear this: If elected, I will work tirelessly … Continue reading Self-Loathing Senate Candidate Against Abortion Except In Case of His Parents 47 Years Ago

Sources: Hillary Clinton Was Still Using Lycos.com Email While In State Department

              (WASHINGTON) In a stunning new development in the ongoing Hillary Clinton email controversy, anonymous sources who worked under Mrs. Clinton while she was Secretary of State have revealed that she was not only using … Continue reading Sources: Hillary Clinton Was Still Using Lycos.com Email While In State Department

Copyright Lawyer’s Screenwriting Skills Endorsed On LinkedIn For Some Reason

(CLEVELAND) Maxwell Witte, a Cleveland-area copyright attorney, admitted Wednesday to being “confused” as to why he was endorsed by a colleague on LinkedIn for screenwriting, a skill set Witte admits he does not nor has ever possessed. “I logged in … Continue reading Copyright Lawyer’s Screenwriting Skills Endorsed On LinkedIn For Some Reason

Diners Club Members’ Data Hacked In Security Breach At Sizzler

(RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA) A large-scale security breach at the Sizzler restaurant in Rancho Cucamonga, California has resulted in compromised data of dozens of Diners Club card holders, the FBI reported today.  “It appears the personal data of several dozen customers … Continue reading Diners Club Members’ Data Hacked In Security Breach At Sizzler

International Community Opens International Community Center In Troubled Middle East

(BAGHDAD) The international community banded together during the past month to open an international community center in downtown Baghdad, designed to function as a safe space and creative outlet for the troubled Middle East section of Earth. The center was … Continue reading International Community Opens International Community Center In Troubled Middle East

NRA Admits 2nd Amendment Would Be Pretty Useless Against A Tyrannical U.S. Military

(FAIRFAX, Va.) National Rifle Association president Wayne LaPierre conceded today that the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, while preserving the right of citizens to “keep and bear arms,” would probably not stave off a mad attack on the populace … Continue reading NRA Admits 2nd Amendment Would Be Pretty Useless Against A Tyrannical U.S. Military