Poll Finds Anti-Clinton Bias Among Voters Simply Because She A Clinton

(NEW YORK) A new New York Times/CBS News poll of 4,340 Americans shows a serious mistrust in, and unwillingness to vote for, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, it was reported late Wednesday. The poll’s surprising results demonstrated that a majority … Continue reading Poll Finds Anti-Clinton Bias Among Voters Simply Because She A Clinton

Poll: Candidate Americans Don’t Know Well Enough To Hate Viewed Favorably

(NEW YORK) According to a recent Gallup poll, Ohio Governor John Kasich is viewed favorably by 64% of Americans voters, owing mostly to the fact that American voters haven’t learned enough about the presidential candidate to truly hate him. Kasich, … Continue reading Poll: Candidate Americans Don’t Know Well Enough To Hate Viewed Favorably

U.S. Unlocks Terrorist’s iPhone, Drops It In Toilet; Warranty Is Expired

(WASHINGTON, DC) The Justice Department announced on Monday it had successfully unlocked the iPhone owned by one of the San Bernardino gunmen, rendering moot its case against Apple, Inc., in which it sought to compel the corporation to provide technology … Continue reading U.S. Unlocks Terrorist’s iPhone, Drops It In Toilet; Warranty Is Expired

New York State Orders FanDuel, Draft Kings To Cease Operations; Announces This Week’s Cash4Life Winning Numbers

(ALBANY, NEW YORK) The New York State Supreme Court has ordered the fantasy sports betting sites FanDuel and DraftKings to shut down operations within the state, it was reported over the weekend. The court has deemed the two sites to … Continue reading New York State Orders FanDuel, Draft Kings To Cease Operations; Announces This Week’s Cash4Life Winning Numbers

Self-Loathing Senate Candidate Against Abortion Except In Case of His Parents 47 Years Ago

(MINOT, ND) Self-loathing Republican Senate candidate Eric Chapman announced yesterday that he is against abortion under all circumstances, “except in the case of Martin and Rosalie Chapman in 1968.” “Ladies and gentlemen, hear this: If elected, I will work tirelessly … Continue reading Self-Loathing Senate Candidate Against Abortion Except In Case of His Parents 47 Years Ago