Needy Little Man Includes Read Receipt In Email

(LINCOLN, Nebraska) Phil Sutcliffe, a needy little man who works in Accounts Payable at GlobalTech Enterprises in Lincoln, has reportedly included a ‘read receipt’ in an email he sent to a co-worker late Tuesday.

The email, which asked for a rundown of purchases, surprised its recipient, Sarah Holbrook. According to Holbrook, “After reading the email, I went to close it, and this little window popped up requesting something called a ‘read receipt.’ I thought it was some virus thing at first, but apparently, read receipts are a thing,” Holbrook said.

Apparently afraid an email would be missed, or worse, ignored, the desperate Sutcliffe took the extra measure to ensure proof that someone had at least opened the email. The weak, self-conscious 43-year-old honestly believed that such a receipt would inoculate him should some dispute arise over the email and whether it was, in fact, received.

“Read receipts are a useful tool,” Sutcliffe explained to reporters. “They can pinpoint the time and date an email was read. It helps cut through any confusion or communication breakdowns and makes the workplace more efficient.”

The puny, omega-male Sutcliffe informed reporters that he also requests confirmation numbers whenever speaking with customer service representatives, “in case I ever need to call back.”

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