(PRINCETON, NJ) A recent study out of Princeton University shows that American women are dominating their male counterparts when it comes to earning college degrees in the Liberal Arts, Social Sciences, and other bullshit fields.
According to the study, an overwhelming 80% of seniors earning undergraduate degrees in such horse shit majors as Philosophy, Art Therapy, Women’s Studies, Poetry, Leisure Studies, and Sociology are female. That number jumps to 89% in graduate programs.
“It’s just another sign that women are on the ascent in this country,” Princeton University professor Nells Frye said. “When it comes to amassing knowledge on utterly useless and colossally stupid disciplines, women enjoy an immense majority.”
Keiko Miller, a senior at the University of Iowa, wasn’t surprised one bit by the findings. “As women, we’re constantly in an uphill battle to gain equal footing with men,” Miller stated. “As a Feminist Studies major, I can tell you that females have made great strides in this field. Fifty or a hundred years ago there were maybe five women in a Feminist Studies class. Today it’s 100% female. That’s a very empowering statistic.”
Miller added, “The Humanities are no longer a ‘boy’s club.'”
But to Frye, the statistics are difficult to explain. “I’m not sure what’s deterring young men from entering these inane fields,” Frye admitted. “Perhaps they no longer want to dick around in college for four years. Perhaps they don’t believe a Fashion Design degree is necessary for a junior researcher job at Teen Vogue. Whatever the reason, men are turning away from traditional ways of studying various pseudosciences and hackneyed interpretations of hideous excuses for art. It’s vexing.”
And although the current labor market is in poor shape, Frye added that “with a bullshit degree, you can still work toward becoming a professor like me. Then schools will pay you to do research like this and give you tenure. It’s kind of like being a student for your whole life. It’s pretty sweet.”