Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney laid off nearly one third of his staff last night, in a move the campaign says was done simply out of habit.
“I got an email late last night after we got home from work,” said assistant media coordinator Adam Crabtree. “It was from Governor Romney, telling me that ‘while we thank you for your service, it will no longer be needed, effective immediately.’
“I was like, what the fuck?”
The layoffs, which cut across the Romney campaign hierarchy, came as a shock to all recipients. They come at a time when the campaign is gaining steam, having raised more funds than President Obama for the first time last month.
“So the guy’s got more money to work with and he fires us?” asked staffer Kim Thompson. “I mean, I know he used to make money doing stuff like this, but this is horse shit.”
Romney’s campaign spokesperson Andrea Saul responded by email to questions regarding the layoffs, stating that “It was not Governor Romney’s intention to relieve anyone of their job. Rather, this was an error due to habit. At the end of a busy day, Gov. Romney is accustomed to going back to his hotel room, taking a hot shower, catching the 11 pm news, and laying off a good two to three hundred people. He sincerely apologizes for the error, and will be in touch with every staffer about reporting back to work.”
At a campaign stop in Wichita today, Governor Romney addressed questions about the layoffs. “The truth is, I’ve held a lot of jobs where I’ve had to make tough decisions,” Romney explained. “So I know what it’s like to let someone go from their job. It’s not fun at all. But I’ll be the first to admit: It can be addictive.”
He was quick to add, “And I ask you to join me in laying off President Obama from his job in November!”